Monday, November 10, 2008


First of all, an explanation. The week of a presidential election, anything I plan to get done, never gets done. Hence, the lack of updates for the past week or so. So, if any of you just couldn't continue about your daily business without reading your beloved Shablorp, I can only say - "Sorry mom, and thanks for the support."

I have to post some much-overdue updates to cappers' pages and also another exciting entry in the Your Queue and You series. But before I do, we must address the 2nd Annual Masquerade Ball that was held on November 1st. Many of your favorite cappers showed up in costumes, some more than one. Those who did have more than one costume usually had good reason. Many showed up on Halloween night and we unmasked. So, when the actual Masquerade happened the next night, they had to don another disguise. Others (such as myself) were just jackasses.

But perhaps the most brilliant use of the multiple costume came from HanoverF. He got the bright idea of using thinly-veiled disguises for some prominent cappers. So, when people made with what they thought was easy guesswork, they never suspected that, to coin a phrase, Han shot first. Han took the form of BraveSirRobin, Cancer (meaning that while many of people unfortunately get cancer, Han was the only one thoughtful enough to give it back), Crustacian of Darai, Flower Child, Funkcola, a Sigur Ros-like handle that translates into IHeartMulder, Inhabitant, Pedantic Asshole, Rupert Pupkin and Smile Time (get your 5th season of ANGEL out in order to catch the ref). It was beautifully played by Han. After all, say I were to say "Rupert Pupkin can't be TravisBickle," I would have been outting myself. Very clever, that HanoverF.

His tendrils spread far and wide.

JediClone took the form of our favorite AlligatorLizardSnake. Jedi's other costume, Rorschach, was met with people would beg him to click on their caps and Rorsach would look down and whipser, "no."

Or Man in Vegas, bosko, came as BillyMays' GayTwin. Billy's twin screams just as much as Billy does, but for different reasons.

Maddog was BlackJackShellac. He was also the CreatureFromUranus, meaning we should all take a lesson from the film ALLIGATOR and be careful what we flush.

The ever-busy UnReality was Will Halloway as well as the legendary Buzz Aldrin. Anyone who doubts that UnReality really did land on the moon will get a beat-down just like this guy.

Our new member, Sans Serif, got into the spirit by showing up as Calavera. It's Latin for skull, folks. Never let it be said that HCC isn't educational.

My new MySpace friend, Silent Film Star let out their inner Candy Whore and will give you basic companionship for a roll of Smarties but only goes extra-freaky for Ghiardelli chocolates.

Seltaeb piloted the Valley Queen as Cap'n Mitch. No, that really wasn't meant to sound dirty.

By her own admission, Nyssa23 resisted the urge to click on many caps when she donned the mantle of CaptainHammer. Convincing as she was, I value that Nyssa seems to get/appreciate my jokes when others do not. It's nice to have my little booster back.

WB assumed the most terrifying personality of the board, Carlton Sheets. Just typing that name, the room got noticably colder.

Agent Moldy hit a grand slam as Chuck Finley. Even though she never actually stepped on the baseball field that night, she still did better than my Tampa Bay Rays. She was also FLOOPIE, which is a way I describe myself after several tequila shooters. (Note: any effort to make Floopie the new Shablorp will be considered an act of war)

While we're getting to some down and dirty chucking, our own Occupant could be seen around as Chuck U Farley. But that's not all. No, the night before he was Enzo. The Chuck U Farley handle was merely a reboot. See what I did there?

I guess I'm next. Instead of my usual TravisBickle guise, I actually had three costumes. On October 31st, I was Waldemar. This was named after the character Waldemar Daninsky, a featured character in a dozen or so Spanish horror films starring Paul Naschy. He's a werewolf who fights his curse of lycanthropy while crossing paths with vampires, mad scientists, yetis and more than one buxom female. Why so much detail? Because if I have my say, you'll be capping some of those movies one day soon. The next night, I was two people. I showed up as Ron Jeremy, but I figured this would be guessed right away (and after someone incorrectly guessed I was Occ, it was). So, I figured I'd channel my inner Ozzy Osbourne/Gary Busey thing and go drag as Countess Bathory. Not sure what it means that people would immediately guess I was a heavy-set and incredibly hairy pornstar, but that's the legacy I've eeked out for myself.

Soon, bitches.

Reynard was the Dreadhawk, though thankfully didn't relieve himself on anyone's car to our knowledge.

tinaw could not be distinguished from the brilliance of Stephen Hawking. That's just how she rolls. She also kept things in perspective by embracing the ultimate schlock filmmaker, Edward D. Wood Jr. To keep up with the cheap aesthetics of Wood, we understand she spent the night trying to cap on an old Odyssey 2.

E_B_A was incredibly stealthy as he donned the mantle of - are you ready? - Elite Beat Agent. Everyone was stumped as fuck. (Add this to my ribbing of hip-hop culture a couple months back, and I totally expect to get a box of black roses from Eeebs this year)

animebabe is responsible for getting all the lonely hearts cappers up in a tizzy as Friction Annie. She was also ShadowWombat, exciting the remaining cappers who are also aroused by wombats.

jammer427 went as General Labor. So, remember if you're wondering where our labor system has gone, it can all be traced to this one capper. He was also Tesco Tessie.

GuloGulo fooled many a capper as Gentleman. Not the didn't think you were a gentleman, Gulo it's - ah shit, I'd better move on.

donned his costume before just about anyone else. As if anticipating the November 1st showing of THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, he haunted HCC as Riff_Raff for most of October. He also showed up as The Great Pumpkin to cap with us, thus leaving a kid alone in a pumpkin patch to weep silently into his blanket.

YibbleGuy was a Hermit Named Dave, not to be confused with Joe from Cincinatti who nobody seems to even remember anymore.

keogh crushed his enemies, saw them driven before him, heard the lamintations of the women and made some Darren McGavin jokes as Hrothgar the Mighty.

InsideOutMan took time out of his busy recording career to grace us with his presence as Huffamoose.

Can't we just snuggle?

AgentQ's obsession with SMALL WONDER threatens to reach Hinkleyian proportions as he simply explained to cappers "i found a robot." He also made contact with the capping board as The Man from Planet X (which is also a kick-ass Edgar G. Ulmer flick).

Buffoon showed up In Costume. Yeah, really. It was downright dada and pretty friggin' cool.

Dibbley served us up a Kimbo Slice of Pie.

GizM was Lester Pate. Confused? You won't be.

Our own king of HCC, Jazzsoda married the terrors of clowns and serial killers as Ronald McDahmer. He also got comfortable as Mr. Fancy Panties. The simultaneous cries of "I knew it!" were almost defeaning.

Monster a Go-Go was having none of this guessing crap as he showed up as Not Monster a Go-Go. E_B_A, I officially take back my sarcastic comments on your costume.

Crab of Doom proved he is much more well-read than me as he came to the ball as both Neitzche Pops and Othar Tryggvassen, Gentleman Adventurer.

Joe Anthrax got a head-start on the election, appearing as Ronald Raygun which reminded me of the old prez's Star Wars program, not only the third shiitiest incarnation of Star Wars, well behind the prequels and that crap on Cartoon Network.

Mad Max sent a not so subtle message as Spank Me Hard. Hey buddy, some of us were already taking up that battle cry, so get in line.

Zoogicub made this comic geek give a rock 'n roll devil horns as he became the best porcine superhero ever, Spider-Ham.

Rock on.

ZONK was no doubt browsing that elusive "Everything Else" category on eBay when he came up with SwedishSmurfPump.

People clapped for Diana Luna, thus proving they believed in her as Tinkerbell.

imtheeviltwin did double duty with her costumes. But you sold yourself short, twin. If she really is an upperclasstwit, than I'm a poverty-stricken moron. She was also the Vienna Boyz Choir, thus bringing the Vatican into the realm of mad skillz.

Generik tried to kill a guy for the insurance money as Walter Neff. HA! Didn't think I saw DOUBLE INDEMNITY, didya? Hells yeah, I took my share of film theory classes.

Echostation may be onto the next breath freshening sensation with Wookie Mints. Perhaps smelling like a wookie can be a good thing now? Hell, we downed Mentos like they were nothing, so why not?

Finally, d. cat chopra was the most underappreciated Marx brother, Zombo Marx. Word has it Zombo was featured in all the bigger films, but all his jokes ended in brain-eating and the Hayes Code was creeped out.

Damn! That was more work than I thought. I must point out that I couldn't do this without Jazz's invaluable answer key. I realize all the links might not work. If you're one of the afflicted cappers and can point me in the right direction, please do and I'll make the neccessary corrections. Otherwise, see you next year!

God help me, I see a resemblance.

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